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[Heads up: in this episode with Lauren Smith there will be mentions of sexual violence.]

Lauren Smith wants you to help you trust yourself to spot red flags early on in dating.

Meet Lauren Smith: a queer dating coach who created a system for analyzing how you think and feel after each new date, so you can make the best possible decisions about whom to let in to your life and your heart.

Have you ever been so concerned about how someone else was judging you that you failed to concern yourself with what you actually thought and felt about them?

If so, you’re not alone.

The stress of dating can make it difficult to see the valuable bits of data our thoughts and emotions bring to light. But we need to process that information in order to make good decisions in our dating life.

That’s why Lauren Smith created a tool that anyone can use to check yourself after each date to recognize warning signs that your old habits might have caused you to miss.

During the episode Lauren Smith and I discuss:

  • How to be more compassionate with ourselves even while we’re single, lonely and frustrated with the complications of dating women…
  • Four vital questions you can ask yourself when you meet someone new, to help you detect warning signs…
  • The most important data points everyone should be evaluating when you’re first getting to know women…
  • How to get more comfortable communicating things that are uncomfortable to communicate in the context of dating women…

Learn more about Lauren Smith and follow her on social media.


Lauren Smith is a speaker, author of The Mindful Dating Journal: Find a Healthy Love that Lasts, and host of the Date in Peace Podcast.

Follow Lauren Smith on Instagram @mettadate.

Check out Lauren Smith’s Podcast Date In Peace.

Order Lauren Smith’s Book:  The Mindful Dating Journal: Find A Healthy Love That Lasts.

Check out Lauren Smith’s mobile app The Mettadate Journal.

Learn more about Lauren Smith on her website

Want to hear more great conversations?

If you enjoyed this interview with Lauren Smith you should check out prior episodes where I interviewed other queer women about the work they do for our community.

I talked to Merryn Johns about being the editor in chief of lesbian lifestyle magazine, Curve.

I talked to Robyn Exton about her journey starting the HER dating app for queer women.

I talked to Andrea Barrica about sex education for humans struggling with sexual shame.

I talked to Liz Culley about making lesbian friends, being bisexual in queer spaces, and feeling left out of the queer community.

I talked to Stevie Boebi about the journey to becoming a lesbian influencer.

I talked to Khanyisa Mnyaka about how to become more of who you want to be.

I talked to Jenn T. Grace about marketing to the lesbian community.

I talked to Dorie Clark about power, leadership and success.

I talked to Bandy Kiki about LGBT activism and being LGBT in Africa.

I talked to DJ Whitney Day about lesbian nightlife around the world.

And I talked to GiGi Madl about how to stop emotional suffering.


If you’re one of the tens of thousands of women who have been listening to this podcast episode after episode, and if you’re like me, and you believe it’s important for queer women to have access to all the best tools for growing as a person, becoming more emotionally intelligent, feeling more confident and building healthier, deeper relationships together, then the most helpful thing you can do to spread the word is to leave a review on apple podcasts telling what you love about Women Wanting Women and why you keep tuning in. And while you’re there, subscribe and share it with a friend and let them know that hot lesbians are everywhere.