Do you ever wish it was easier to meet other lesbians?
If so, you’re not alone.
Finding other queer women isn’t always easy to do.
When we’re out in the world it’s not always obvious which females are romantically attracted to other females.
Not everyone has gay friends, not everyone uses dating apps, and not every town has gay hangouts where people can congregate.
And even if they did, not everyone feels comfortable hanging out in bars or other places that are oriented around drinking and partying.
But hot lesbians are everywhere. It’s just a question of where to go to find them.
Most queer women are integrated into society, spending time working and living among friends, relatives and colleagues who aren’t gay and who don’t hang out in gay places.
Finding them requires getting involved in different parts of the world.
The following are 18 places you can go and things you can do that are likely to put you in the company of other queer women (or other cool humans who will know queer women they can introduce you to).
Start going to concerts with female performers (especially if they’re queer female performers).
I’m sure that if you go to any Indigo Girls, Tegan and Sarah or Ani DeFranco performance, a good percentage of the audience members are queer women.
Queer female artists, even if they’re not remotely famous, tend to attract groups of queer women, because their queer friends will be there to support her.
And even if a performer isn’t gay, if she’s a woman, she still might have some gay female friends (or fans) coming to see her play.
The one thing about local politics is that it’s all about people coming together.
Even if you’re not particularly interested in political discussions, showing up at these events means you’ll be doing a civic good while spending time around a cross-section of people from your community.
You can search online for local branches of whatever political parties exist around you, and that should tell you when they’re having their next meetings.
Libraries and independent book shops tend to be welcoming places to hang out, and usually every month they will have public events, like poetry readings, book signings and talks with authors.
They might also have book clubs you can join, which will be far more interactive than just attending an event.
Most everyone has at least a few gay people in their life, between work and family and hobbies. So even if someone isn’t queer, there could still be some queer people invited to their parties.
And unlike showing up in a random bar alone, people at parties tend to have more connections between each other, which makes it easier to meet the other people there.
Even if you hardly know the person who invited you, party invites can be real gold mines, so consider saying yes to more of them.
If you enjoy playing a sport, there’s probably a league you can join.
Softball, soccer, basketball… and even if you’re less athletic, you can maybe try bowling.
Any recreational league will put you in the company of tons of other women.
The great thing about art galleries is they host an opening event anytime they bring in a new artist to feature.
Usually these events are open to the public and they can be a really fun place to meet new people while broadening your cultural exposure.
Most museums will host public events throughout the year.
How many museums do you have near where you live?
Go check out their websites and see what’s on the calendar of events for the next several months.
Even if you’re not enthralled with the particular topic, going to check out a museum is still a nice way to get exposed to new ideas and connect with different people in the community.
Whether it’s yoga, martial arts, boxing, spinning or whatever else is currently en vogue, fitness classes are a popular pastime for single women.
And those classes make for a friendlier environment because people feel great when they’re exercising.
Go online and see what fitness studios are open near you.
Are you a good dancer?
If you can move, dance classes are a great way to be social.
And if you can’t move, dance classes are a great way to learn how, while meeting new people.
Search for all the dance studios near you and see what classes they offer and try some out.
Gyms are known for being great ways to meet new people.
Even when working out independently, you can look around and make eye contact and see if there’s anyone who seems like they’re open to talking.
Also most gyms have a smoothie bar (or food area) where you can hang around after and try to connect with new people.
And when it comes to gyms, consistency matters. The more you go, the more you see the same people over and over, to the point where familiarity can turn to friendliness and friendship.
You’d be amazed at how many different kinds of recreational clubs exist in this world.
Whether it’s a ski club, a hiking and backpacking club, a gardening club, a crafting circle, a quilting circle, a choir, a running group, a local theater club, or any other group, joining with others in recreational activities is a great way to turn strangers into friends while doing things you enjoy.
For whatever industry you work in, there are business owners in that industry who host events to get recognition for their company and find new clients.
Sometimes within industries there are women-only events and sometimes there are LGBT events.
People who attend business networking events are there for the purpose of mingling, so it’s a great way to connect with new people and it could also lead you to new career opportunities.
Search online for organizations tangential to your industry and see what’s on the calendar that you can show up for.
Self-help events are a great way to meet other people. And ones that feature female speakers or that are specifically focused on female empowerment will be even better for meeting women.
There is a whole personal growth industry that focuses on teaching you to be happier, more confident and more successful in all areas of life. Some of these events are extremely expensive, but some can be free, and they are great places to meet new friends while also evolving into a better version of yourself.
And if you can find self-help teachers that are gay women, it’s a good bet that there will be other gay women attending their events.
Most universities, at least in Western democracies, have a club or a safe space for LGBT students.
Even if you graduated from college five decades ago, you’re not too old to stop in there because the office itself is likely staffed by local queer adults, and the student organization might be affiliated with local queer-owned businesses.
Stop into the office and introduce yourself and see what resources they offer and find out how you might be able to get involved.
For anyone who can afford it, traveling to cities known to be more heavily populated by lesbians is a great way to meet other queer women.
In the United States there are places like Provincetown, Rhode Island, San Francisco, California, New York City, and Cherry Grove, in Fire Island that are known to be lesbian havens.
There are lesbian havens around the world, so book a trip to the one nearest you and make sure you use the dating apps while you’re there, to see who’s single and looking to connect.
For anyone who can afford it, there are travel agencies that offer trips tailored to LGBT clientele. These can be a great way to make new queer friends.
Just be sure to check in advance that there will be women on the trip (assuming that matters to you), because sometimes groups like that can be filled with gay men and no women. But there is a company called Olivia that caters only to queer women.
There are LGBT charities and organizations all over the world, and they tend to hold events in order to raise funds and raise awareness.
Find out what organizations are near you and get on their mailing list and see how you can get involved. If you find that event tickets are too expensive, the organization might be looking for volunteers to work at the event, and that’s a way to attend and meet people, without having to pay.
For anyone who can afford it, there are queer female parties all around the world you can travel to, full of queer women who go there to meet and mingle.
In the United States there are Aqua Girl, Dinah Shore and a bunch of others. Internationally there’s Ella, and L-Beach.
The good news is that these are heavily promoted events, so they should be easy to find if you search online. And if you go, make sure you use the dating apps while you’re there, so you don’t have to rely on the luck of who you run into in person.
These are just 18 ideas, but there are infinite others you can try.
The important thing is to make a habit of showing up in new places and engaging in the world with friendliness and an open mind.
And remember not to get discouraged.
Because whenever we go somewhere new, if we look around and don’t see anyone we’re attracted to, it’s easy to bum ourselves out and tell ourselves that “the thing we want isn’t here”.
But that attitude will block you from all the opportunities that could otherwise be hiding there for you to find.
The truth is that any stranger you connect with can end up being the person who invites you to the place or tells you about the thing or connects you to the person that eventually leads you to finding true love.
That’s why the real magic trick is to be warm and curious with everyone, while holding the assumption that anyone you meet could have something super important to teach you or a valuable clue they’re holding for you that, if you find it, will advance you to a whole new level in life.
If you hold that frame of mind while continuously showing up in new places, there’s no way you will avoid meeting more queer women than you ever imagined possible.
So keep putting yourself out there with an open mind and an open heart, and until next time keep remembering, that hot lesbians are everywhere, that love is real and that the woman of your dreams is on her way into your life in perfect timing.
If you want lesbian dating advice from me more often, follow me on Instagram @jordana.michelle.
If you enjoyed this blog, then be sure to check out my other popular videos: The Games Women Play In Lesbian Dating and The Four Reasons Women Lie In Lesbian Dating.