I have proof that you’re guaranteed to find love.
A lot of my clients feel blocked from believing in love because they don’t see proof of the fact that love is something they’re guaranteed to find.
And I understand. It’s hard to believe in something when we don’t have proof.
And it’s normal for LGBT women to be afraid of not finding love.
I have proof, from all my years of coaching queer women, that the biggest challenge for our community is the fear of not finding love.
Because we look at all the women we’ve ever been attracted to, and we consider how many of them were actually LGBT or open to dating other women, and the number can seem frustratingly small.
And it’s easy for us, when we’re single and lonely, to believe that “smallness” of the dating pool serves as proof that it’s harder for us to find love than it is for straight people.
There is no proof that straight women have more love and relationships than queer women do.
Yes, it’s true that our straight friends have far more men to “swipe through” on their dating apps than queer women do. And yes, probably our straight friends go on more dates than we queer women do when we’re single.
But it’s way harder for straight women to get commitment from men.
Queer women do not have a problem with commitment! The oldest lesbian joke in history is proof of this fact. [What did the lesbian bring to her second date? A moving truck! ]
And so even though straight women go on more dates than we do, when it comes to actually getting into deep love and relationships it’s all about the same.
Fears are lies.
Fears are lies (that we believe in) that cause us to feel afraid.
Fears are just scary thoughts we repeat in our heads so frequently that we become convinced they’re true.
Feeling afraid of being alone isn’t proof of the fact that we will end up alone, it’s simply proof of the fact that our mind is thinking a fearful thought.
You are NOT going to end up alone.
Here’s the truth…
Human beings are wired for love and connection.
This world is full of beautiful open-hearted people who want to love and connect just as much as you do.
We are walking around in a world full of amazing, beautiful women who are willing and able to love just as much as you are, and all it takes is for you to cross paths with one of these women at the right time, and you will be drawn to each other uncontrollably.
I’m positive this will happen to you because the world is overflowing with opportunities for you to love and connect.
It’s like being on a crowded subway in a big city during rush-hour. It’s impossible not to bump up against someone when it’s that crowded.
If we make our lives bigger and bigger so that we interact with more and more people, eventually we’ll cross paths with someone who is right for us. It’s impossible that we won’t.
And it is entirely within our hands.
The only things that can keep us from finding the love we long for are self-sabotage and wasting time on the wrong women.
It is entirely within our hands to purposefully make our lives bigger.
Staying stuck and not making our lives bigger is a form of self-sabotage.
It is entirely within our hands not to waste time on the wrong women.
We only waste time on the wrong women because of the fear that we’ll never find anyone better.
Fear is bullshit.
The idea that you’ll never find love (or that you’ll never find someone better than the person who isn’t giving you the love you need) is total bullshit.
When we tell ourselves that we’re at risk of not finding love, we make ourselves anxious and unhappy.
And there is literally scientific proof that women are less attracted to humans who are anxious and unhappy. So the fear that we’ll never find love perpetuates our loneliness by making us less attractive.
The truth is that if you want a partner, you are eventually going to find her.
And the fact that you are eventually going to find her is proof of the fact that this woman you’re going to end up with is alive right now, somewhere on this same planet.
And the one thing we know for sure about her is that she’s probably just as frustrated and lonely as you are, and she probably misses you just as much as you miss her.
Because she hasn’t found her partner yet.
Because YOU are her partner.
Wherever your future partner is, she needs you to be strong for her.
She needs you to believe in love and to believe in her and to keep making your life bigger and bigger so that your path finally crosses with her.
The fact that she’s the future love of your life is proof that she is going to be just as excited about you as you are about her when you finally meet.
It is going to be the most beautiful thing in your life when you find her, and I am so so so so excited for you for when that finally happens.
And it will.
And if you ever want to talk to me one-on-one about any of the challenges you’re facing in dating or love, I offer individual coaching, and you can learn more about that HERE .
So until next time keep remembering that hot lesbians are everywhere, that love is real, and that the woman of your dreams is on her way into your life in perfect timing.
Wishing you all the happiness your heart can handle (and much more),
Thank you @advanture_wives for letting me use your beautiful photo!