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Parental wounds…

The parental wounds that we live with cause issues in all our relationships.

The relationships we had with our earliest caregivers form the framework of how we learned to relate with others and they’re the foundation of how we think and act in all relationships.

The framework and the foundation…

Life is complicated. And raising children is hard… And even the greatest parents in the world aren’t “perfect.”

That’s why everyone has some parental wounds.

And those parental wounds (the recurring issues we have with our parents) generally “mirror” and “parallel” the recurring issues we have whenever and wherever there is friction with other people in our life.

Because “how we do one thing is how we do everything.”

“How we do one thing is how we do everything…”

Our parental wounds are a major source of whatever conflicts and limitations we face around relationships.

But that’s actually really good news.

Because whenever there is a problem, the “highest-leverage” thing we can do is to fix the problem at its source.

Because resolving a problem “at the source” saves us from having to handle every far-reaching consequence that otherwise would have branched out from the source.

And that’s why doing “inner-game work” on the dynamic we have with our mother and father is one of the highest-leverage things we can do if we want to grow ourselves into stronger, wiser, more self-actualized human beings.

Working on healing our parental wounds is like going straight to the source of all our relationship friction.

So where do we start?

You’re in luck.

Because in this episode of Women Wanting Women I interview relationship genius Annie Lalla, who’s teachings on healing parental wounds are the most tenderhearted and helpful of any I ever found anyplace else.

During the interview Annie shares:

  • How to talk to your parents about your parental wounds in a way that allows them to see your pain, without them getting defensive of feeling blamed…
  • How to engage with your parents in a way that avoids re-triggering parental wounds, so you can share happier times with them…
  • How to heal parental wounds, even when your parents won’t talk to you (or have passed away)… and
  • How parental wounds get passed on to the next generation (for anyone who has kids) and what to do about it…

Learn more about Annie Lalla and follow her on social media:

Annie Lalla (“The Cartographer of Love”) is professionally certified in coaching, NLP and clinical hypnosis, and her work incorporates her studies of all those areas plus evolutionary psychology, integral theory, spiral dynamics, inter-generational family systems and therapeutic sexuality.

Annie works with singles looking to find partners and couples wanting to resolve conflicts that erode their connection, and she helps people attract, create and foster extraordinary connections that maximize freedom and minimize shame.

Sound familiar?

Anyone familiar with my podcasts and videos and classes and blogs will recognize Annie Lalla’s name, because Annie and her husband Eben Pagan are two of the people I quote from and refer to most often.

Annie and Eben are probably the two humans who have had the biggest influence on my work as a teacher and a coach. And for anyone who wants to change their life and relationships for the better (or who wants to help other people change their lives and relationships for the better in a way that actually works), Eben and Annie hold the gold standard for doing and teaching that.

I feel incredibly lucky that, over the years, they’ve become friends and mentors. I love them beyond measure, and I highly recommend their work to anyone interested in self-actualization (and helping others to self-actualize.)

You can find more free resources from Annie at

And my earlier interview with Annie Lalla on the Women Wanting Women podcast can be found HERE.