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Confidence is sexy.

Women are intensely attracted to confidence.

That’s just a fact.

And insecurity is unattractive.

That’s why confidence matters so much in lesbian dating.

Here’s the thing…

Confidence has to come from within.

It can’t come from anyplace else.

(If someone else did it for us, that wouldn’t be authentic confidence.)

Good news.

Our level of confidence isn’t a “permanent condition.”

Even if we’ve lacked confidence our whole lives, there are things anyone can do to become more confident.

And for anyone who lacks confidence it’s worthwhile to work on becoming more confident, because increased confidence makes us happier, more attractive to women and more successful in everything we pursue.

That’s why I want to share two simple mindset hacks anyone can use to have more confidence when dating women.

Mindset hacks to increase our confidence…

The first hack for increasing our confidence when dating women is to adopt the belief that you are 100% guaranteed to find true love.

When we believe with unwavering certain that we’re guaranteed to find love, we are sexier to the women we meet.

A big mistake people make when dating is they let themselves get caught up in the fear of being alone forever.

When we do that (and we start dating someone new that we like) our fear tells us “I’m lonely now. And if it doesn’t work out with her, I’m going to stay lonely ( maybe forever).”

But that attitude is a confidence killer. And it’s a turn-off…

Believing we’re guaranteed to find love is the antidote.

The antidote.

When we believe we’re guaranteed to find true love we are less needy and less worried about getting rejected by the women we date.

If someone we like doesn’t like us back, that’s no big deal

Rejection is no big deal.

Because when we believe we are 100% guaranteed to find true love, we know that someone else is going to be a way better fit for us.

When true love is guaranteed, rejection is nothing to be afraid of.

(After all, true love is waiting just around the corner!)

The less we fear rejection the more we can stand in our confidence with everyone we date.

That’s why believing we are 100% guaranteed to find true love is such a powerful hack for increasing our confidence.

But wait… Can we change our beliefs?

For anyone who isn’t sure whether they are “guaranteed” to find love, you might be asking “how can I believe something if I don’t have proof that it’s true?”

That’s a great question.

But the important difference between truth and belief is that while we can’t choose what’s true, we CAN choose our beliefs.

Just because something is true doesn’t mean we believe it. And just because we believe something doesn’t mean it’s true.

We believe that people are idiots, even when those people probably have friends and family who love them. Are we right about our beliefs?

We believe lots of things that aren’t true…

We believe lots of things that aren’t true.

  • that we wouldn’t like something (but actually it turns out we really do)
  • that we couldn’t do something (but once we try ends up being easy)
  • that someone is going to react badly to something (but then it works out)

The thing is that some beliefs are dangerous.

And believing we might end up alone is a dangerous belief that makes us behave in negative ways that sabotage any relationship we ever find.

Obviously the future is unknowable and the world could end tomorrow for all of us. But since we have total power to choose our beliefs, choosing to believe that we are guaranteed to find love is a powerful hack for increasing our confidence.

Second confidence hack…

The second hack for increasing our confidence is to replace our judgments with appreciation.

There is an inverse correlation between how judgmental we are and how much confidence we have. (The more judgmental we are, the less confidence we have.)

The more we judge others, the more we see the world through a judgmental lens. And when we see the world through a judgmental lense we also see ourselves through a judgmental lens.

And when we’re being judgmental, it’s easy to assume others are also being judgmental (because we tend to “project” and assume that other people think the way we think.) So when we’re being judgmental we feel more judged, which makes us way more insecure and way less confident.

Judgments are lame…

The opposite of being judgmental is to be appreciative.

Appreciation builds confidence.

The more we notice what we appreciate the more we focus on positive aspects of others (and the more we assume other people are focusing on positive aspects of us).

When we look at the world through the lens of what we appreciate, we feel more positively about everything and we end up appreciating more about ourselves.

This generates more confidence and well-being.

Plus it’s a far nicer way to be.

Bottom line…

Nobody else can give us confidence. Each of us have to generate it ourselves, from within.

Our level of confidence can be changed, if we change our mindsets.

And the two best mindset shifts we can make, for greater confidence when dating women are:

  1. believing we’re guaranteed to find true love
  2. replacing our judgments with appreciation

When we finally meet the woman of our dreams, we want to show up as our best selves.

The more confident we are the happier we’ll be and the more she’ll be attracted to us.

You deserve that.

So believe in love and stay focused on what you appreciate and keep remembering that hot lesbians are everywhere, that love is real and that the woman of your dreams is on her way into your life in perfect timing.

Until next time,

Jordana Michelle

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