Healing Lesbian Heartbreak
Heartbreak is so painful...
If you are currently heartbroken (or suffering from a recent heartbreak)… then I understand that life sucks right now.
But I promise you that there is a way to start healing from this heartbreak so you can feel better.
What you are reading right now will start you on the journey (is the start of your journey) so I’m glad you’re here.
Learning to handle our heartbreak is so important…
Here’s the thing…
If we don’t feel confident we can handle our heartbreak after a breakup we will always be terrified of ending relationships…
And if we are terrified of ending relationships we will settle for the wrong women, accept unacceptable treatment, waste far too much time with women who can’t give us what we want, and suffer from constant fear and insecurity in our love lives.
That’s why the ability to bravely and fiercely and wholeheartedly navigate heartbreak is a vital life skill for anyone who wants to experience epic true love in this lifetime.
A hidden opportunity…
When we learn how to bravely, fiercely and wholeheartedly navigate heartbreak, we can stop feeling angry and sad and lonely sooner which means we can regain control over our thoughts and feelings faster…
And regaining control over our thoughts faster means we can learn important lessons from the breakup quicker.
And once we get out of confusion, we can use what we learned to make progress in our lives which betters our entire reality and leads to finding new love again much sooner…
So being able to bravely navigate heartbreak is a very big deal!
Let’s be real.
Heartbreak absolutely sucks…
- missing her…
- feeling angry for the ways she hurt you (and for the ways she refuses to see or acknowledge her fault in the things she did)…
- feeling out of control because you can’t stop thinking about her…
- feeling ignored because you can’t get her attention the way you used to be able to…
- feeling confused because your world views and perspectives and values are still tied up with hers (and it’s hard to know what’s “true” objectively)…
- feeling insecure because of all the things she didn’t appreciate about you…
- feeling insecure because she took her love away…
- waking up alone in your bed when you used to have someone else…
- not having someone to hold and touch, when she used to be there…
- not having a partner sending you sweet messages during the day…
- not having someone around to spend your weekends with and be your date to all the things you want to do…
- feeling afraid that now you’ll be alone forever and never find someone else as good as she was…
All of this is normal.
I’ve been there…
I’ve been heartbroken four times…
But since I’m a coach I’ve deeply studied what works (and what doesn’t work) for healing and thriving after heartbreak.
And through my own personal journey I developed a simple (yet profound) formula called the Lesbian Heartbreak Cure that truly works, and I’ve used it to coach countless women to thrive through their heartbreak.
You can learn more about the Lesbian Heartbreak Cure HERE.
And you it’s important to learn about this because being able to handle heartbreak with confidence is one of the pillars that empowers us to attract extraordinary women and create epic love.
The first step towards healing heartbreak…
But if you’re reading this and you’re in pain I want to give you something you can put into practice right now to start healing your heartbreak…
I want to tell you something that, by the time you’re done reading this, just by having read this you’ll already have seeds of profound healing deeply planted in your field of possibility.
The healing technique I want to give you is called surrender.
Surrender…
In order to fully understand what I mean by “surrender” in this context, it’s important to consider the opposite of surrender, which is resistance.
Being in a state of resistance means we’re not happy about what life is offering us right now, and so we’re refusing to accept it.
Like a 3-year old kid throwing a temper tantrum because his parents won’t buy him a toy.
The child’s resistance (throwing a temper tantrum) will only make his life more miserable.
The child might think he’s fighting for what he believes in, but his misbehavior will only cause him more problems for himself. Ultimately if he continues resisting he’ll just get himself punished instead of getting the toy he wants.
Resistance doesn’t work.
Some examples of how we can be in resistance during times of heartbreak include telling ourselves things like:
- She just doesn’t realize how much we belong together (she’s wrong for leaving me and eventually she’ll see it)
- Once this other person hurts her she’ll come back to me
- If I tell her best friends the truth they’ll convince her she was wrong
- One day I’ll get her back
Thinking thoughts like these don’t help us to heal from heartbreak.
Thinking thoughts like these only perpetuates our sadness and frustration, keeping us stuck in painful patterns…
Resistance is damaging.
The Buddhists teach that it’s not the hardships we face in life that cause our suffering, it’s our resistance in the face of hardships that causes the suffering…
And maybe that’s hard to believe…
But consider the 3-year old from the prior example: Any disappointment he might have felt from not getting the toy he wanted pales in comparison to the distress he will feel after his temper tantrum (resistance) causes a big fight with his parents that ends in anger and punishment.
Resistance doesn’t help us get what we want.
Resistance to “what-is” only causes more pain.
The opposite of resistance…
The opposite of resistance is surrender.
Surrender means accepting things as they are.
A common mistake is to think that surrender is weak.
It’s not weak.
When we surrender we are not being passive.
The only way to achieve anything in life is to start by seeing things as they are. (To do otherwise is to be delusional, which is not powerful at all.)
Power comes from bravely and open-heartedly seeing reality in a clear and objective way (and accepting the truth of what we see) in order to make informed decisions.
But accepting the truth oftentimes means we have to accept shit that sucks…
Powerfully surrendering to painful truths…
When we surrender we don’t just “accept reality” as an idea or concept, but we experience it with our whole body.
When we surrender we allow ourselves to fully feel our emotions.
Emotions are half-physical and half-mental.
When we experience an emotion we are feeling a physical sensation in our body and we are telling ourselves a story in our minds about what the physical sensation means.
And studies have shown that the more we tell ourselves the stories, the less we feel the physical sensations. And the more we feel the physical sensations, the less we tell ourselves the stories.
And studies have also shown that painful emotions go away in a matter of minutes when we focus on the physical sensation, whereas telling the stories causes those same painful emotions to get triggered and retriggered indefinitely (which perpetuates the unpleasant emotion and leaves us feeling out of control.)
Feeling our feelings (surrendering to the feeling) helps unpleasant feelings go away faster.
Full surrender…
There is a very powerful shortcut to healing from heartbreak.
This shortcut includes saying some difficult things.
And for anyone who is healing from heartbreak, saying these things is likely to provoke painful, strong emotions…
But if we let ourselves feel the physical sensations (instead of focusing on telling the stories) we can feel our upsetting feelings in a way that helps them go away faster.
It’s exercise of full surrender…
But it sucks.
Because it’s painful.
And it takes a lot of bravery.
Here’s how it goes…
Take your hands, put them lovingly on your heart, take a deep breath, and then say the following (or change the specific words so that they are relevant to the facts of your heartbreak):
- I accept that she’s gone…
- I accept that she doesn’t love me anymore…
- I accept that she’s not thinking about me anymore…
- I accept that I’m not the one she wants to get a text message from anymore…
- I accept that she’s with someone else…
- I accept that I am alone right now…
Don’t forget to fully surrender to whatever feelings come up when you say those things.
Focus on the physical sensations, not on the stories.
And breathe…
Good job.
It takes a lot of bravery to face painful truths.
But being brave enough to surrender is the most powerful thing we can do to start healing from heartbreak.
It gets easier.
Broken hearts eventually heal, as long as we take the right steps towards healing.
But fortunately for anyone currently struggling with heartbreak, I mapped out the way forward for you and I’m offering it for free here.
Download The Lesbian Heartbreak Cure.
Don’t forget…
Love is real.
The fact that one particular woman refuses to love us the right way doesn’t mean other women won’t love us.
No woman’s rejection of us can prevent us from finding deep, satisfying love from someone else.
This world is full of lonely, beautiful, open-hearted queer women who are longing to love and connect just as much as you are.
If you’re not currently in a happy relationship with a life partner (and if that’s something you want) it’s just a matter of time before you find the right person to partner with. And that means the woman you’re soon going to fall in love with is already out there looking for you and dreaming of you, the same way you’re dreaming of her.
She needs you.
Wherever that woman is, she needs you to be strong for her.
Because the only thing that will ever keep you apart is if you self-sabotage or waste time on the wrong women.
And if you’re currently trying to heal from heartbreak, and if you’re choosing resistance when you should be choosing surrender, then that means you are both self-sabotaging and wasting time on the wrong woman (your ex).
And your soulmate deserves better than that.
So download The Lesbian Heartbreak Cure now.
And until next time keep remembering that hot lesbians are everywhere, that love is real and that the woman of your dreams is on her way into your life in perfect timing.
Wishing you deep healing and happy days ahead.
With softness,
Jordana Michelle
