- Women who like women are a small fraction of the population
- We have fewer options of people to date than straight women do
- It’s hard to find an attractive lesbian who is my type
- The numbers are not in our favor
It’s hard to argue with that logic, because we all seem to believe it’s true.
But timeless wisdom from every culture in every part of history across every inch of the globe tells us over and over (again and again) that “our beliefs become our reality.”
So if we BELIEVE that it’s harder for us to find women we’re attracted to, then it WILL be harder for us to find women we’re attracted to.
Since all of us believe it’s harder for women in our community to find love and attraction, it IS harder for us. And we created this predicament for ourselves.
For a long time I bought into the idea that my options were limited and the numbers were not in my favor and that it would be hard for me to find someone.
And guess what?
I was single and lonely and frustrated and miserable. I frequently went through massive dry spells, sometimes going as long as eighteen months at a time without finding anyone I was attracted to who liked me back.
But eventually my mentor forced me to see that I was literally creating this nightmare for myself.
The only reason that I was experiencing so much difficulty in my love life was because I believed that’s how things were supposed to be for me, as a lesbian. And since I am responsible for the thoughts I think, I was clearly the one in charge of repeating this pattern for myself.
Once I saw what was happening I chose to consciously shift things by changing the words I spoke and the thoughts I allowed into my mind.
Instead of repeating ideas about how hard things are, I disciplined myself to tell myself (and everyone else) that finding love is easy, and that hot lesbians are everywhere.
All day, every day I went around telling myself that hot lesbians are everywhere.
And if I ever heard any of my friends complain about how hard things are or how limited our options are, I’d say “That’s not true. Hot lesbians are everywhere.”
I repeated it until I believed in it and became known for it.
Within a month I was dating two women I really liked. One of them I ended up dating (on and off) for the next four years. After that I met the love of my life.
Bottom line: after changing my mind and deciding “hot lesbians are everywhere” I was never really alone again.
Perhaps… But probably not.
Because to this day I continue to find hot lesbians everywhere I go. It’s how I see the world now.
So this needs to be the new reality for our whole community. We are hurting ourselves by perpetuating the belief that mutual attraction is hard to find.
Let’s choose together that HOT LESBIANS ARE EVERYWHERE.
(With the understanding, of course, that “hot” is in the eyes of the beholder.)
Let’s take that idea and repeat it until it becomes our reality.
And if you are one of those people who doesn’t like labels (for yourself or others), I really do respect that. But labels are merely words. And words can be very useful if we employ them in the service of creating a better belief structure. And the world will be a happier place for all of us (as a community) if we believe in abundance and ease instead of lack and difficulty.
Are you with me?
Leave a comment below and tell me what you think and whether you’re willing to join this movement.
Until next time, I wish you confidence clarity and connection.